A modern leader is expected to demonstrate a degree of emotional intelligence in getting the best out of his or her team. But exactly what does that mean and why should leaders build this skill?
“The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say” Khalil Gibran
Emotional intelligence is partly about good communication.
If you want to communicate really well with your team – and a team can never be truly high performing unless the communication is top class – then you need to consider things other than the words being used – things such as body language, tone of voice as well as the words which are there but are just NOT being said.
But communicating well is only one part of emotional intelligence – Wikipedia describes it as ‘the capacity to be aware of, control and express emotions and to handle inter personal relationships judiciously and empathetically’.
So as well as managing relationships, being able to read emotions and understanding the impact your communication has on others, it’s also about managing your own emotional state and and most importantly, having a good degree of self awareness.
Developing your emotional intelligence muscles
How you go about developing your emotional intelligence will depend on what comes naturally to you and what doesn’t – your strengths and weaknesses.
Some of the more common areas I come across with my clients include:-
Finding it difficult to bounce back from setbacks – in which case, ask yourself, ‘what is the lesson here?’ or ‘how important will this be in six weeks, six months or six years?’
Struggling to express difficult emotions – try the ‘when this, I feel’ structure.
For example, ‘when you produce inaccurate and late reports, I feel disappointed and frustrated’
Or if you find it difficult to read emotions in others – ask the other person the question ‘I’m making an assumption about how you are feeling about this, can I just check?’
These are just a few tips to help with some of the most common areas – if you would like help or support in identifying and working on building YOUR emotional intelligence, why not click on the website link below and book in to our online diary for a free 30 minute consultation.
Until next time.